Kerkgenotjies: The trail

During a trial in a Baltimore courthouse, the prosecutor calls his first witness - an elderly woman named Mrs. Rabinowitz. He approaches her with confidence and begins the questioning:

“Mrs. Rabinowitz, do you know me?”

She adjusts her glasses, looks him straight in the eye and says:

“Of course I know you. I’ve known you since you were a little boy, and to be honest, I’m deeply disappointed in you. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people, and gossip behind everyone’s back. You walk around acting like some big shot, but the truth is ... you’re just a small-minded bureaucrat who never figured that out.”

The courtroom erupts in whispering.

The prosecutor freezes, completely stunned.

Desperate to shift attention, he points across the room.

“Mrs. Rabinowitz ... do you know the defense attorney?”

She nods.

“Oh, I know him too. He’s lazy, impatient, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t hold together a single healthy relationship. His law practice is one of the worst in the city. And let’s not even mention the fact that he cheated on his wife with three different women ... one of whom is your wife, by the way. So yes, I know him.”

The defense attorney turns pale.

The judge, barely holding himself together, bangs his gavel.

He calls both lawyers to the bench and whispers through clenched teeth:

“Listen carefully. If either one of you idiots asks her whether she knows me, I swear I’ll have you both out chopping wood by sunset.”